j is for judge

WARNING: THIS IS NOT A LIGHT-HEARTED BLOG



last night i was coloring a woman's hair, in the magazine she was perusing, she found a small picture advertising a television show called "jon and kate + 8". it is about this family who had twins, and then had sextuplets, and i guess how their everyday lives are. so we began to discuss how people had to have help in their pregnancies, and this led to discussions on other topics, like post partum depression and this led to discussions on divorce. in this midst of these topics, i mentioned having served a mission, therefore, my client knew my standards immediately. she told me she knew these standards, and wasn't trying to cause contention, but how, she wondered, do we (mormons) get married to someone without having premarital sex. she asked, "i mean, don't you ever wonder what it would be like to be with someone else?" i told her "no! i think of how intimate that particular act is, and if i hadn't had the standards i have, i would have shared that intimate "first" with some random loser! and none of my boyfriends and i even know each other's whereabouts, and if i DID run into my "first" how awkward would that be? and if i did know his whereabouts, would i just think of him instead of my husband? and wouldnt that cause contention between my spouse and i? and wouldn't he always think i was comparing him to past relations? how hard would that be?" she heard me out, and when i had finished my rant, she said, "that's sweet, i hadn't ever thought of it that way before." people judge others' standards too quickly i say.
somehow our discussion reverted back to mental disorders (previously mentioned post partum depression), and i told her about a discussion i'd had with someone previous to her about multiple personalities. have you ever seen sybil? this is what my previous conversation partner and i had discussed. he told me he was watching it in his psychology class, and they were understanding, or trying to understand how multiple personalities worked. i found it very intriguing, but my color-client kept asking me if i thought it was real. i happen to think mental disorders are VERY real, and i would like to study psychology someday. this led to her asking me why, and so began the topic of the book my dad speaks of often "please understand me" or "type-talk". and i began explaining to her the biggest difference between one of my sisters and i. that would be that of a judge and a perciever. judges are good with schedules, budgets, and lists. percievers fly by the seat of their pants till their pants are full of holes, which they don't much notice...she has a place for everything, and everything in its place. her house is virtually clutter-free, and mine has all the clutter that normally accumulates in a house, plus the clutter that probably got kicked out of her house. i'm ok with it, really. i do wish i could better organize and i wish i didnt feel like keeping EVERYTHING, but i do, so. oh well. my point is that in studying psychology, i would be able to better understand everyone, i just think it would be interesting.
the last part of our conversation turned to another type of judge. she told me that she was watching "court tv" and it was the strangest case. she told me that the wife had had an affair, early on in the marriage, realized the mistake she made, confessed to her husband, who obsessed about it, and who much later had his own affair and then randomly and suddenly, the wife died. the autopsy told of poison, (like that found in anti-freeze) and the husband denied it, but was convicted. i said, "why was poisoning her an option to him?" (again, with the psychology) "why didn't he just get a divorce?" then our conversation turned to others like this man, mark hacking, (why didnt he just run away when he realized his wife knew all his lies? he could have called his family from another state, and said, "i need to start a new life, i lied about everything, i'm changing my name, dont try to find me" then she would still have a life, and lets be honest. so would he.) and ted bundy (she told me she had read a book about him and how brutal he was, not just snatch someone here/there, but sometimes more than one at a time, and they watched each other be tortured. she said that he must have been all about having power. i said "so be a manager at walmart, they have little power trips, they have control over people! be a cop, be a court tv judge! they have power, and they are more normal!" i just think that can be channeled elsewhere.